paradoxum

Just finished listening to Rich Mullins’ song: We Are Not As Strong As We Think We Are. I think if there is anything I’ve learned in the past 5 years, it’s that I’m not as strong as I think I am. I am weak and frail and full of pride and anger and rage and disappointment and frustration and disbelief and idolatry and deceit and selfishness. I am not as strong as I think I am. I can’t overcome all obstacles. I can sabotage myself. I can close the doors that will never open again. I can resist the Holy Spirit. I can hurt people very deeply. I am not as strong as I think I am. I can use people to get what I want. I can trample on the love of those I treasure most. I can deceive, lust, hate, and judge all to be guilty and myself innocent…I am not as strong as I think I am.

I need grace. I need mercy. As much as I need the mercy and grace of every human being I’ve ever known…that is not enough. I must have the infinite grace and the mercy of an infinite Almighty God. He must be bigger than the gods of the Greeks. He must be bigger than the gods of the Hindus, and, dare I say, bigger than the God of the Jews, the Muslims…and yes, even of the Christians.

I need a God who forgives men who worship sex & power, like David & Solomon. I need a God who forgives liars, like Abraham and Jacob. I need a God who forgives murderers, like Paul. I need a God who forgives people who can’t obey the simplest command, like Moses. I need a God who forgives treason, like Peter and Adam. I need a God who forgives thieves, like Matthew and Zacchaeus. I need a God who forgives murderous jealousy, like Joseph’s brothers. I need a God who forgives people who don’t want others to be forgiven, like Jonah. I need a God who forgives Pharisees, like Nicodemus. I need a God who forgives ungrateful people, like the nine lepers. I need a God who forgives people who want to be FIRST and not last…who will scheme for greatness, like James and John. I need a God who forgives doubters and skeptics, like Thomas. I need a God who will be a friend to sinners and seek and save people who are totally lost.

Judging me and condemning me would be easy. I figure any God worth his salt could do that, but forgiving me, now that would be big…and…forgiving us all…OUTRAGEOUS & AUDACIOUS!

No, we are not as strong as we think we are, but perhaps He is stronger than we think He is.

Peace.