paradoxum

Away From The Center is the title of a series I've been writing for about a year. In this series I've tried to chronicle the planting of element. If you've missed this series or would like to review - you can read them here: away from the center...i, away from the center...ii, away from the center...iii, away from the center...iv. 

element held its first worship service on January 28, 2007. From January through April our attendance fluctuated from 140 - 180 with lots of new people coming in and out. When we began, we used a "conversational" approach to preaching, using two communicators to unpack a topic. We used this approach until we began our "man laws" series in April. From January - April we focused primarily on Sunday morning as it was the "front door" for visitors.

In April, we began to talk about "life groups", and we moved from a "conversational" approach to preaching to a more traditional approach (one person communicator). Our focus was still on Sunday morning, but at this point we began to think about a Baptism service, starting life groups (finding leaders), and holding our first "partnership" class. We were also talking to a potential church planter about merging his core group with element and then planting out of element in the winter of '08.

Personally, I was beginning to struggle. Old questions were resurfacing and God was clearly speaking to me about where I belonged. In May, we had a meeting of our Vision Team where I had the opportunity to share my heart with the 4 other guys who started and led element. I told them that I had began to feel God wanted me in Rock Hill. Truthfully, I had always felt this - as much as I loved element, and as much as I loved the guys with whom I had planted this church - my heart was in Rock Hill, not Charlotte. On top of that, I felt we had reached a place where we could effectively pastor element with 2 pastors - we just didn't need 3 pastors. It was clear to me that we needed a lead pastor at element, and it was certainly not me - I belonged in Rock Hill.

Shortly thereafter, we chose a lead pastor, and we all agreed that it probably made sense for me to go part time and look to eventually plant a church in Rock Hill. About a month and a half after this, we had a staff retreat where we would review our core values and make plans for the future. During this retreat, it became crystal clear that I was no longer aligned with the vision of element. Now, don't think there was any anger involved in any of this - it was just matter of fact. We had a lead pastor and his vision of church and mine were just different, plain and simple. I knew I needed to step down, but I also knew this needed lots of prayer.

After the leadership retreat, I had the opportunity to spend an afternoon reading and praying and asking God to give me His wisdom in this decision. I remember reading Hosea 11:11: "Like a flock of birds, they will come from Egypt. Trembling like doves, they will return from Assyria. And I will bring them home again,” says the Lord. I will never forget how that verse hit me. It was as if God was saying to me, "It's time to come home". I began to pray and ask God what that would mean for me - did it mean return to my hometown where I could work with my dad....did it mean returning to rock hill and westminster...what did he want for me? Over time I found out what it meant - it meant returning to my "roots". It meant returning to the center, away from the edges...it meant returning home from the wilderness in which I had gotten lost. For a fuller explanation, see my post My Father's Son.

I also began to pray that God would "speak" to me - that he would clearly show me what he was calling me to do. The day after I had spent time praying about this, I was setting up at church and a teenage girl was helping me. I remember the conversation vividly. "Are you preaching today?" she asked. "No, not today" I replied. "Are you preaching next Sunday?" she pressed. "No, not next Sunday" I replied, slightly agitated. "When are you preaching again?" she asked. "I don't know, maybe in two or three weeks" I said. "Do you like preaching?" she asked with an inquisitive look. "Oh, I absolutely love it more than anything" I told her. Then, she looked at me and hit me with a sledge-hammer of a question, "Then why aren't you a full-time preacher?" I looked at her realizing God had just spoken to me, and mumbled a reply...there was really nothing left to say.

For me, the answer was clear: I had to leave element and pursue planting a church in Rock Hill.

On August 21, 2007, I left element. Clearly, God had used my year with element to teach me TONS about myself and TONS about how to plant a church.

I left element knowing that I was called to plant a church, but also knowing that the church I was called to plant was not a seeker-driven church. I knew that I wasn't called to plant a church where you could "belong before you believe". I knew I wasn't' called to plant a church where the "felt needs" of the unbeliever drove the preaching calendar and content. I knew I wasn't called to plant a church where the preaching was more conversational than proclomational. I knew I wasn't called to plant a church where the Gospel was (imho) more like good advice than good news. I knew I wasn't called to plant a church where the focus of the preaching was on "how to" rather than God and the Gospel. I also knew the type of church I was called to plant but more on that in the near future. 

I left element at the end of August, and have only been back one time. Instead, I have been attending Christ Central Church, and Crossway Community Church. If you've read my blog, you've probably picked up that a lot has changed with me since about June/July. I've clearly returned to my "roots". I'm back in the PCA, and very much content with who I am and what I believe. I miss many of my friends at element, but my first concern is for my own family and their spiritual growth and development. In the past few months I've seen God do great things in our family...things that wouldn't have happened if God hadn't taken me on this journey.

So, where am I today? I am working a full time job as I prepare to plant a church in Rock Hill. What kind of church will it be? Stay tuned...I hope to blog about that in the near future.

And so, my journey continues, but this is a journey back to the center, and away from the edges, away from the wilderness where I've met many friends and where I've been challenged and encouraged to seek...and find. My story is not quite as adventurous as Bilbo's There and Back again...but this blog has chronicled my own adventure...my story...and it is in so many ways a paradox.